Being in the World in Good Faith–Sarte

22. May 2008 by Da Fu.

One of the most difficult things in the world is to be true to ones own self. We are frequently denying ones self in order to please others or not to hurt them. This is healthy but at what point does it become unhealthy?

Most women and some men are Feelers in the Myers-Briggs Survey. The defend others because they don’t want them hurt. But, some Feelers defend others even when it hurts them! I believe being a Feeler is fine but it becomes unhealthy when it starts to hurt ones self. That is the point to draw the line.

So, what if what one needs to do to be in the world in good faith requires activities not approved or even hurtful to another. Well if that person doesn’t need to know about it then it is OK. We live our own lives and are responsible for our own happiness; yet, we should not hurt others if it is not with their consent or of no benefit to them.

For example, confessing to an affair just hurt the spouse or significant other while relieving ones self of the burden. This is selfish and not being in the world in good faith to ones self or the spouse. If you can’t stand to keep the secret, i.e., burden, then don’t do it. Instead work out the issues that are leading to whatever activity must be kept secret or change your circumstances. But, don’t tell just for your own benefit.

Don Miguel Ruiz in his book The Four Agreements points out that our live is our dream and not others dreams. We should not ruin others dreams. We should be impeccable with our words, don’t take anything personally, ask questions and do our best. Doing this means we have a good chance of being in the world in good faith!

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