We will never have our ideal Father, Mother, Children but….

It is a perfect world. Our parents and children are unique and imperfect. They will never be the “ideal” figment of our imagination person we want them to be. But, they are the persons we do have and we need to deal with them.

Our hopes, wishes, aspirations, wants, etc., etc., etc. and so forth are intermingled with our father, mother or child. This is who we are. Yet, it is NOT who they are and that is the issue.

We must internalized our ideal (archetypical) relation and then deal in the real world with the person who is our parent or child. Accepting them for who they are is the basis of charity love … love that does not have expectations in return and is selfless and quiet.

Nothing hurts more than “I-would-love-you-more-if-you-would…” change message. The message heard is “you don’t love me now and there is no guarantee you will love me even if I change.” Since the other person can never be ideal in our mind, the latter heard message is the correct one and change is inhibited rather than encouraged.

Unconditional acceptance without putting our personal burdens on others is how we show our charity love for others, especially to fathers, mothers and children. And this should be done daily….not just on special days each year. Living charity love is living in the world in good faith to One’s Self and Others.

So, maybe we should be the ideal parent or child we want to our parents and children. We can than have our ideal by living it and thus being a example of who we are. Such a gift of the love is priceless.

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